Sunday, November 3, 2013

Car Buying in the Not-So-Distant Future


Imagine this…
You are going to buy new car.  You are on a budget and you only need a commuter car to get you to work and back -- the commute is 20 miles each way.  You live in southern California where the weather is glorious nearly all of the time.  You know pretty much what you want and what you need and you know very well what you can afford.
You go into your local used car dealership only to find it empty and closed down.  Confused you drive down to your local "New Car Mall" and are stunned at what you see... A sea of cars, all roughly the same color, all the same style and only subtle differences.  You go into to talk to someone and ask what the heck is going on.
There is a very long line that snakes around the building and you take your spot in line.  People are chatting as they wait and you try to pick up bits of information.  Some seem elated to be there!  One lady comes bouncing out of the dealership holding up a set of keys to her new car!  She is telling everyone that it was FREE!  She got a free car. You think "wow, she must have won some contest."
The line moves slowly. As people come out of the building a few more are happy but many seem very angry. Some are screaming that their cars were free; others that they only cost $100 and others are seething with anger and stay silent as they storm away.  It is quite a confusing spectacle.  You finally get up to the customer service person and say you need to talk to a salesman about getting a used commuter car. 
She tells you, "Oh you can't buy a used car anymore.  It is against the law." 
You think you are dreaming so you play along and say, "Okay show me a new one". A man comes out leads you over to three cars that are slightly different shades of white, about the same size and have only subtle differences.  One is a coupe, one is a hatchback and one is a four door -- all the same model.  These ones happen to be Fords.  You glance across the street at the Toyota dealership and see the SAME three cars in their lot and they are Toyotas over there.  Next door they are called Chevys…   
Definitely a dream. 
He asks you which one you want. 
You say, NONE of them!  You say, "I want a little red, 4-speed, hatchback for around $12,000, preferably used!" 
He shakes his head and tells you that is no longer available that used cars are now against the law, they just aren't safe enough.  These are the only three that are approved by the government and these are your three choices.  
You ask him, "How much do they cost?" 
He asks, "How much do you make?" 
You say, "What difference does that make?" 
He says before he can quote you a price you must provide your personal and financial information to their dealership.  He then tells you that if you leave WITHOUT a car you will have to pay them $100! Oh and for every year that you go without one of these cars you will have to pay more and more. 
This has GOT to be a dream, right? So you continue to play along. 
You provide him your details and he plugs them in to some computer kiosk thing and it spits out a number.  He shakes his head and tells you that you make too much money and that you will have to pay full price.
You are stunned.  You are a waitress and a student.  But the tips that are reported can be pretty good. You tell him though that you can barely pay your bills and you are amazed that what you make is considered "too much". He tells you that is what the computer said and what it says is SO!

You point out that a lady just left hollering that her car was free!  What gives? He says, well she has 12 kids and she is underemployed so her car has to be free.  You HAVE to pay full price to help offset the cost of giving that lady her free car.
It's a dream. It’s just a dream…
He begins to list all the options that come on the cars… Seatbelts, back up camera, GPS navigation, On-Star, 28 airbags, ergonomic, heated, power seats, built in child seat, heated mirrors, 4-wheel drive, studded snow tires, it has the new automatic braking system that can sense a slow down ahead to avoid a crash, it can parallel park itself, it is electric, it comes with a helmet too that you must wear while driving it and it does not come with a radio of any kind .
You tell him he is nuts. All you want is a very basic commuter car to get you to and from your work and school.  I don't need all of these options and you WANT a radio.
He looks at you as though you have two heads. He says, "Haven't you been paying attention? The government mandates that you have all of these safety options -- they want you to be safe!  It is for your own good.  Oh and the radio causes people to get distracted while driving so they are no longer allowed in cars.
You say, "Why the snow tires and 4-wheel drive?"
He says, "Well it is POSSIBLE it could snow. It has before in southern California and you have to be prepared for ANYTHING that is possible."
"Why the heated, power seats with all the ergonomics?"
"You might strain your back on long drives and this will help avoid that."
You tell him your commute is 20 miles. He tells you that doesn't matter.
You tell him that you don't have a kid and you are never going to have a child -- it isn't medically possible you say sadly.
He says well every must have a built in child seat no matter what -- just in case…you might adopt!
You then tell him that you don't WANT an electric car and there isn't a charging station at school or at home.  He says that they have taken care of that and your landlord will be fined until he installs one for you. Of course your rent is going to go up to cover the installation and the higher electricity bills and your tuition is going to have to go up too to cover those costs for the school.  He looks at his list of your information and says, "Lucky you!  There is a charging station right where you work! But of course you are going to get a cut in pay so your boss can afford to pay his electric bill."
No, not a dream. This is a freakin' nightmare!
In frustration you tell him to just show you the damned hatchback.  He opens the door and you slide in to the driver's seat.  You look around and it isn't bad to look at. You ask for the keys -- he gives them to you. As you reach for the ignition you notice a credit card swipe machine mounted in the dash. You ask him what the heck it is for.
"Oh that?" he says, "It is for when you start the car. You need to swipe you credit card until you have paid your deductible."
"What?"
"Yes" He says, "Until you have reached your deductible you have to swipe your card each time you start it."
"Deductible for what?" you stammer.
He goes on to explain that any time you use your car you must pay.  Although there are some trips that are free.  If you are going to the post office, if you are going to a volunteer job with a federally licensed organization, if you are dropping your child off at a public school or if you are going to a rally those trips are all free!
"But I don't have kids! Can I get another free trip instead?" you ask.
Nope that's all the car will allow.
"I pay all my bills online and I use FedEx. I never go to the post office."
He just looks at you blankly and says that these are the ONLY free trips and there aren't any substitutions. Period.
"How does the car know where I am going? You ask sarcastically.
He very seriously says, "Oh it KNOWS."
Wake up, wake up, wake up you think to yourself.
Well how much will it cost every year?  He looks as his tablet and swipes a few times and says, "For this car only $12,000."
You shriek, "TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS?" You only take home $3000 a month. That is one-third of your take home pay!
You ask him how it all works. He tells you that each time you make a trip the car totals up the mileage and then charges your card whatever the government rate is for mileage.  Right now that is 48.5 cents a mile. 
But wait he says, excitedly, "You get 80% of your miles paid for after you meet your deductible! Isn't that great?"
You tell him that you only drive about 10,000 miles a year - you would have to drive nearly 25,000 miles a year to meet your deductible. You will never reach your deductible. And what the heck does the 80% mean?
He goes on to explain that when you swipe your card it knows how many miles you have driven and once you have drive enough miles to pay off your deductible then you only pay 80% of the 48.5 cents or 10 cents!  Oh and you still get those FREE trips!
You stop, collect your thoughts and summarize to him all you have been told.
 
1. I can't buy a used car; I must buy a new one.
2. I only have three to choose from all slightly different shades of white.
3. They come with options I don't want or need.
4. It doesn’t come with options I DO want.
5. I have to pay full price for the car because I work hard and earn a living -- the price is non-negotiable yet other people who don't work hard are getting the same car for free. I have to pay more so they can pay less.
6. The car charges me 48.5 cents a mile each time I use it until I have driven 25K miles, even though I will never drive that much and then it only charges me 10 cents a mile after that.  
7. IF I had kids dropping them off at school would be free ONLY if they attended public school.
8. Even if I go across the street to the Toyota dealership my choices are pretty much the same.
9. My tuition is going up, my rent is going up and my wage is going to go down to offset the mandatory electric charging system that is being required to be provided for MY car.
10. AND you are going to charge me $100 if I leave her without a car.
He says, "YES, you got it! Welcome to the Affordable CAR Act!"
And you realize it isn't a dream…

 

 

 

 

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